Introduction. Helping people with depression
Depression is a life-threatening illness with destructive potential. It can turn a once lively partner or friend into someone who is lethargic, burdened by guilt, inner emptiness, and hopelessness. One of the core symptoms of depression is the social withdrawal. The person affected may cut relationships and friendships due to the lost ability to interact socially.
One of the key points in helping people with depression is the protective network provided by family and friends. However, in their helplessness toward depression, family members often feel guilty or even angry towards the afflicted person. If the depressive phase persists, family members can feel overwhelmed and exhausted as they take on numerous tasks for the depressed person.
Be Informed about Depression
Gather information about depression and let the affected person understand the importance of treatment. You can also refer them to online depression forums, such as Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) or support groups. Talking to people who have dealt with depression provides easy access to the “first hand” information and shared experiences. Sometimes, it’s more convincing when someone who has experienced or recovered from depression reports that treatment was helpful.
You can also find information on family support groups through the regional associations and family self-help groups. Sometimes, just sharing your experiences with other family members can provide relief. Family members and friends of individuals with depression can find an online program with various exercises and videos. It demonstrates how to support the affected person and handle crises without overwhelming yourself.
Exercise Patience with Depressed People
Many people suffering from depression express complaints and despair, withdrawing from their surroundings. Be patient with them. Remind them that depression is a treatable illness and will pass. Do not try to convince them that their feelings of guilt are baseless. Avoid arguing about whether their negative perspective is “objectively” justified or not. Both approaches will not yield success.
It’s not easy to understand the subjective feeling of a person suffering of depression. Do not dismiss the affected person’s physical discomfort and health anxieties as exaggerated or “merely psychological.” because depressed individuals do not dramatize their experiences. It is depression that amplifies even mild pain or discomfort to unbearable levels.
Do not turn away from your depressed family member, even if they appear dismissive.
Avoid Well-Intentioned Advices to People with Depression
It is futile to advise a depressed person to “take a break” or go on a trip for a few days. Being in an unfamiliar environment can deepen patient’s depression even further. Do not tell the affected person to “pull themselves together” because someone with depression cannot fulfill this demand. Such advice may even intensify feelings of guilt. The same applies to attempts to cheer them up. Instead, support your family member whenever they show initiative.
Understand Your Limits
If your family member is depressed for months, his illness will certainly affect you and the entire family. Therefore, it is crucial to recognize your own limits without feeling guilty. Patients suffering of clinical depression require professional treatment provided by psychiatrist or psychotherapist.
Being a helper do not lose sight of your own mental help. Keep your interests and maintain your social connections. Be prepared that your family member will need your help for months if not years.
Professional Help for People with Depression
Depressed individuals often attribute their condition to themselves and do not consider seeking medical help. Due to the lack of motivation and hopelessness, people with depression believe that they cannot be helped. They also lack the energy to muster the strength for a doctor’s visit.
Always bear in mind that individuals with depression perceive reality through a “depressive lens,” which distorts their perspective. This may lead to decisions they may reconsider once they have recovered. Consider this, whenever possible, in all matters related to the person’s personal or professional future. In such situation motivate the patient to seek medical advice as soon as possible.
Take the initiative and schedule an appointment by a psychiatrist or psychologist for your family member or friend suffering of depression. Even if he might initially reject offers of help, let him know you are there for him. Therefore, do not give up after the first attempt. Reiterate your concern and offer your assistance periodically.
Sometimes, it takes time to convince the person of depression to look for medical advice as the feel to be “beyond repair”. You don’t necessarily have to disclose your suspicion of depression. Saying, “You don’t seem well. I’m concerned. Let’s get you checked by a doctor; I’ll accompany you if needed,” can make that first step easier.
Critical Concern: Suicidal Thoughts
Individuals with depression not only endure immense suffering but also lose all hope due to the illness. They doubt that help is possible and that their condition will ever improve. Perceiving their situation as hopeless the suicide might appear to them as only relieve from the suffering. Suicidal thoughts and impulses are a very common symptom of depression. They turn depression into a life-threatening condition. If your family member or friend would experience suicidal thoughts, take action, and seek medical help immediately.
Take Seriously Suicidal Thoughts
Suicidal threats and announcements
The misconception that a person who talks about suicide won’t act on it is false. Profound hopelessness and statements such as, “It all makes no sense anymore…,” “Eventually, it has to end…,” “Something has to happen now…” are indications of severe danger in individuals with depression.
Settling affairs and saying goodbye
Many people want to organize their affairs before suicide. They may give away valuable items, write their wills, or bid farewell to friends and family. Someone determined to commit suicide often appears calmer, more composed, and less desperate. Onlookers may mistakenly believe that the person is finally improving.
What Can I Do for Suicidal Person?
The most crucial aspect of acute suicidality is not to let alone the sufferer in the seemingly hopeless situation.
Initiate Conversation
If you suspect that a friend or family member is at risk of suicide, calmly and objectively address the issue with him. In most cases, talking about the distressing thoughts is a relief for the suicidal individual.
Care for the Person
The key is to buy time, as the desire to die is almost always a temporary state, and even in challenging life situations, the will to live usually returns. Show that you are there for them. Take responsibility for the individual during the acute situation. Accompany the person to the doctor or clinic. At night, this may be the psychiatric emergency department or the medical on-call service.
Seek Medical Emergency
Do not attempt to act as a therapist. Instead, support the individual in seeking professional help. You can seek assistance from a general practitioner or psychiatrist or visit a hospital if the patient is cooperative.
However, take immediate action when a person is immediately threatened by suicide but is unresponsive and unwilling to seek help. Call for emergency medical assistance to ensure his safety. Provide the paramedics with a detailed account of the situation and do not leave the affected person alone until the paramedics arrive.
Helping People with Depression. Summary
Helping your family member or friend through their battle with depression requires patience, empathy, and a deep understanding of the complex emotions and challenges they face. Transitioning from despair to hope and recovery is a journey that is manageable with your unwavering support.
It’s crucial to remember that a person with depression may sometimes respond with rejection or withdrawal. This behaviour is not a reflection of your worth but rather a manifestation of the illness they are battling. Understanding this and respecting their ability to accept or decline your suggestions without taking offense can be immensely helpful.
Above all, avoid trying to explain away their depression, downplay it, or offer well-meaning advice. These actions may inadvertently convey a lack of acceptance, even if your intentions are entirely different.
Many people suffering of depression fear being labelled as “crazy” and fear rejection or mockery from their social circles. Emphasize that such concerns are unfounded.
Consider yourself a guiding light during their challenging times. Small gestures like going for a walk, listening to music together, or engaging in a heartfelt conversation can make a significant difference.
Monitoring their treatment, such as ensuring they take their prescribed medications regularly or attend doctor’s appointments, is beneficial. However, it’s important not to make them feel like they’re losing control of their own life.