Difference between talking to psychotherapist or friend
Humans are “social animals” and as such they need the interaction with other people exchanging views, opinions and getting advice. That’s why it’s essential to have someone to talk to when we’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling with our emotions. Our self-awareness and sense of belonging to a particular group, language and culture couldn’t be formed without mirroring ourselves in the people around us. The family and friends are at the core of the social network indispensable for our normal functioning.
It’s only natural that people facing problems will turn for help to their family and friends. However, there are situations in life which might overwhelm individual’s capacity to cope leading to severe psychiatric problems. In such situations support and advises from the family or friends are not enough. The collapse of individual’s coping mechanisms is the demarcation line where the professional help from a psychotherapist becomes necessary.
Psychotherapist and psychotherapy
Psychotherapists called also counsellors are professionals trained in the therapeutic “talking cure” called psychotherapy or counselling. A qualified psychotherapist is a graduate in psychology or a medical doctor additionally trained in the psychotherapy. Such training lasts several years and requires thousands of hours of supervised therapeutic experience. The reason is to teach the therapist understanding the mechanism of the invisible “engines”, the emotional complexes behind the human behaviours. Because of this “hidden agenda” psychiatric conditions are incomprehensible to lay people. Therefore, patients in major crisis need professional help from a qualified psychotherapist.
During the psychotherapeutic training the future therapist must create an awareness of emotional processes taking place between him and the patient. In the psychotherapy the therapist triggers emotional reactions in the patient. Such transfer of feelings from patient to therapist is called transference. Correspondingly, “countertransference” refers to therapist’s feelings and attitudes influenced by the therapist’s own unsolved problems projected into the patient.
Transference
The term “transference” originates from Freudian psychoanalysis. It refers to the patient’s feelings and attitudes towards the therapist influenced by patient’s old patterns. Transferences are typically unconscious involving the fundamental dynamics from infancy.
We all “transfer” our feelings in our everyday lives. Both loving and constructive feelings and attitudes can be transferred, as well as aggressive and conflicting old relationship dynamics.
Example: An employee is repeatedly devalued harshly and unfairly by her supervisor. Nevertheless, she admires him and tries to please him through good performance and an attractive appearance. In relationships as well, she repeatedly seeks out strong partners, often experiencing violence, yet she does not leave. In doing so, she transfers feelings that actually belong to her violent father onto her boss or partner. She desires confirmation or affection from them, which she longed for from her father but never received.
Countertransference
In psychodynamic psychotherapy, countertransference refers to therapist’s emotional reactions towards the patient based on therapist’s own feelings, biases, and desires. The observation of this phenomenon traces back to Sigmund Freud. Freud noticed that the transfer of feelings between patient and the therapist works in both directions. Because of countertransference there is a risk that therapist departs from his objective position.
In the therapeutic relationship understanding the process of transference and countertransference is considered fundamental. Analysing the flow of feelings between the patient and the therapist allows to reconstruct patient’s past disease-causing relationship patterns. In the second step they can be addressed, understood and neutralized in the therapeutic setting.
Working with transference and countertransference
The transference from patient to the therapist, if understood, is always a valuable therapeutic tool. In contrary the countertransference must be considered a disruptive factor. Transference and countertransference processes are a kind of “time machine”, as old, usually childhood constellations and the associated feelings are activated during the therapeutic process.
To handle this constructively in therapy, the psychotherapist must be aware of his own “blind spots”, his transference tendencies. That’s why the training in the psychodynamic psychotherapy requires the therapist to be analysed by an experienced supervisor.
The process of transference interpretation explores the connections between patient’s current problems and his childhood dynamics helping to find ways out of the crisis. Thus, working with transference requires specialized training and extensive personal therapy for the therapist.
Psychotherapy roles
The general conditions required for the psychotherapy are: a certified therapist, standardized setting, an emotionally neutral place and strong observation of the confidentially rules.
Psychotherapist’s expertise
Psychotherapists are experts in mental health and have received extensive training in the field. They are equipped with a range of therapeutic techniques and tools to help individuals work through their issues and make meaningful changes in their lives.
Confidentiality roles
One of the most significant benefits of psychotherapy is that patient’s information remains secret. Therapists are bound by ethical and legal standards that protect the privacy of their clients. It means that every problem discussed in therapy stays between the patient and the psychotherapist. This level of confidentiality can be incredibly reassuring for individuals who are concerned about their privacy or feel uncomfortable sharing personal information with others.
Therapeutic neutrality
Friends and family members often have personal opinions, biases, and emotional connections to the people they care about. While this can be comforting, it can also make it difficult for them to provide objective support and advice. In contrary, the psychotherapist has an external look at the system in which his patient’s lives and acts.
Therapists are also trained to be objective, meaning that they don’t take sides, providing an unbiased perspective, helping individuals to understand their thoughts and emotions and make positive changes in their lives.
Even for the therapists Freud created important role excluding from the therapy family members and close friends of the psychotherapist. The reason has been articulated above: the psychotherapist must be objective in his judgment which excludes too close emotional involvement with his client.
Structured approach in psychotherapy
In contrast to speaking with a friend, psychotherapy provides a structured approach to problem-solving and emotional regulation. Psychotherapist helps clients set specific goals, identify underlying issues, and develop coping strategies to address their challenges. This structured approach can be incredibly helpful for individuals who feel overwhelmed or struggle to manage their emotions effectively.
Conclusion
Family and friends can provide support and comfort helping an individual to master minor life problems. However, while family and friends can offer a shoulder to cry on, psychotherapist provides professional therapy with structured approach focused on solving deep rooted problems a lay person is not aware of.