Couple Therapy and Marriage Counseling

Couple Therapy and Marriage Counseling. Dr.Annette Schonder, American Board Certified Psychologist and Marriage Counsellor
Dr.Annette Schonder, American Board Certified Psychologist and Marriage Counsellor

Good relationships are profoundly rewarding. In such relationships, we feel safe and secure, loved, understood, appreciated, and supported. Couple therapy and marriage counseling can be integral to maintaining a happy relationship between partners, which is the main attribute of better mental and physical health, positive parenting, good work performance, and life satisfaction.

In today’s world, many couples face a wide range of challenges ranging from minor disagreements to significant relationship problems. They will benefit from a neutral space and professional guidance to discuss misunderstandings and challenges and work through them.  

Marriage counselling, also known as couples therapy, is a form of therapy that helps couples work through their relationship issues, conflict resolution, and overall satisfaction in their partnership.

Most relationships begin with a great deal of positivity and mutual support; however, over the years, dysfunction and unhappiness can creep into a relationship/marriage and even result in a divorce.

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It’s important to consider that marriage counselling is not a quick fix for relationship problems. The process can be challenging, and it requires effort and commitment from both partners. However, many couples find that the time and energy they invest in therapy is well worth it. In most cases, it leads to significant improvements in the marital relationship. In some cases, therapy can even save a relationship that is on the brink of collapse.

What to Expect from Couple Therapy and Marriage Counseling?

Your therapist will impart information on improving general communication and advanced communication skills. During couple therapy & marriage counselling, the differences between functional and dysfunctional relationships and lifestyles are emphasised. When couples have children, a counsellor will also address parenting issues that cause conflict and impart basic positive parenting techniques. Counsellors also give information on positive conflict resolution techniques and the basics of solution-focused discussion. A counsellor will emphasise and encourage the four basic elements required for a healthy relationship: respect, honesty, equality, and communication.

Today’s couple therapy & marriage counsellors have the advantage of having a vast amount of research findings at their disposal to be aware of consistent patterns within couples & marriages or relationships. Couple’s counsellors help couples identify dysfunctional patterns of behaviour so the couple can replace them with functional patterns. The end goal is to facilitate marital stability and happiness and to highlight that relationships require ongoing attention.

Restoring Communication in Marriage

Couple Therapy and Marriage Counseling
Marriage counselling. Working through relationship issues in neutral space under professional guidance

One of the most common reasons couples seek marriage counselling is to improve their communication skills. Good communication is essential for any successful relationship. Couples therapy provides a structure for partners to learn how to listen to one another, express their feelings, and understand each other’s perspectives. The behavioural approach in marriage counselling involves learning how to manage conflict, provide emotional support, and compromise. The therapist can also help couples identify negative patterns in their communication and work to replace them with more positive, healthy behaviours.

Other common reasons couples seek marriage counselling are for relationship problems, such as infidelity, financial stress, and other challenges that can strain a partnership. A skilled therapist can help partners understand each other’s perspectives, work through difficult emotions, and develop a plan for moving forward together. The therapist also provides guidance on how to rebuild trust, improve intimacy, and create a stronger foundation for their relationship.

Marriage counselling can also be beneficial for couples who are looking to deepen their connection and improve their overall satisfaction in their partnership. The therapist helps couples identify their strengths and weaknesses, set goals and create a plan on how to achieve them. This may involve exploring new ways to show love and affection, finding ways to support each other’s interests and hobbies, and improving a couple’s physical and emotional intimacy.

Dynamics in Couple Relationships

Couple Therapy and Marriage Counseling
In good relationship, we feel safe and secure, loved, understood, appreciated, and supported

Every relationship has its ups and downs. Especially in the early stages, it can be particularly turbulent. Your partner is new, with different interests and habits. Understanding and accepting them can take time.

When everything eventually falls into place and you both can hardly imagine a future without each other, it’s time for the next step: engagement and marriage. A wedding not only binds two people closer together but also serves as a special symbol of love. When two people decide to tie the knot, they show they’re ready for more responsibility and can look forward to a shared life full of exciting adventures.

Dealing with Jealousy in Marriage Counselling

Pathological jealousy can be a destructive emotional response to perceived threats to a valued relationship. On the other hand, jealousy is a natural instinct to protect our relationship. Evolutionists claim that jealousy is a simple response to the perception of potential danger. Proponents of the cognitive-behavioural approach see jealousy as a form of agitated, angry worry.

Jealousy is a natural tendency we can cope with rather than act on. CBT for (pathological) jealousy aims at learning to notice, accept and regulate the jealousy response. The cognitive-behavioural approach to dealing with jealousy incorporates metacognitive, mindfulness and acceptance techniques. It helps jealous individuals accept uncertainty—an unavoidable fragment of any relationship.

Psychodynamic Therapy in Couple Therapy and Marriage Counseling

Overall, the psychodynamic therapy in couple counselling provides a valuable framework for understanding and working through relationship issues. It helps to explore the unconscious motivations and conflicts that are impacting the relationship; couples gain new insights and develop new strategies for improving their relationship.

In conclusion, marriage counselling can be a valuable resource for couples facing a wide range of relationship challenges. From improving communication to working through significant problems, therapy helps partners create a stronger, more satisfying relationship. It requires effort and commitment, but the results can be life-changing. If you’re struggling in your relationship, consider seeking the help of a trained couple’s therapist.

Importance of Collusion Concept in Couples Therapy

German Couple Therapy in Dubai focuses on understanding and resolving deep-seated relationship patterns. One such pattern is collusion, a psychological term for behaviours in relationships shaped by an unconscious interplay of different forces. The Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Jürg Willi introduced the concept of collusions in couple relationships. His work made a lasting impact on how we understand the psychodynamics between partners.

Willi was the first psychotherapist to apply psychodynamic therapy in couple counseling Dubai settings. He expanded classical Freudian psychoanalysis to address the unique challenges of dyadic relationships. This approach remains highly valuable in couples therapy and marriage counselling Dubai sessions today. Many couples therapy Dubai practitioners still draw on his insights when working with partners. Even in marriage counseling, or in individual sessions with one partner, the understanding of collusion helps uncover hidden emotional dynamics that shape the relationship.

Willi was the first psychotherapist who applied psychodynamic therapy in couple’s counselling. He expanded the classical Freudian psychoanalysis on dyadic relationships. The concept is still highly relevant in the couple therapy but also in the single sessions with one of the partners.

Gottman Method in Couple Therapy and Marriage Counseling

The Gottman Method of Marriage Counselling offers couples a practical, research-based approach to improving relationships and resolving conflicts. This method is designed to help couples improve their relationship and resolve conflicts by improving communication skills, increasing intimacy, and addressing negative patterns of behaviour. The research-based methods on marriage counselling focus on four principles.

  1. Building a strong foundation is key. The Gottman Method emphasises the importance of building a solid practice foundation for the relationship. This includes establishing trust, shared meaning, and intimacy.
  2. Improving communication is equally important. The method teaches couples effective communication techniques, such as active listening, expressing feelings without blame, and staying calm during disagreements.
  3. Addressing negative patterns also plays a role. The Gottman Method identifies negative patterns of behaviour. These can be criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and withdrawal, and it helps couples change these behaviours to improve their relationship.
  4. Enhancing intimacy is possible. The method also focuses on enhancing intimacy and building emotional connections through shared experiences, emotional expression, and physical affection.

Gottman Method can help with a variety of relationship problems, from frequent arguments to infidelity and emotional distance. The method aims to assist individuals in every stage of their relationship, regardless of race, class, or cultural identity. It has proven effective in helping couples build strong foundations, improve communication, address negative patterns, and enhance intimacy.

Gottman Marriage Test

We offer the Gottman Marriage Test, giving you the detailed Gottman Relationship Checkup with an analysis, insights, and recommendations that are individually tailored based on people’s responses. The test evaluates 15 categories across 4 pillars, which take regional, cultural, and religious differences into account.

The analysis and detailed report can also help getting started with couples therapy, such as the Gottman Method Couples Therapy. The report provides many insights that can aid you in identifying key areas to solve for, which you can then discuss with our therapist.

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy. Summary

One of the saddest reasons a marriage dies is that neither partner recognises its value until it’s too late. Too often, a good marriage is taken for granted instead of being nourished and respected as it deserves and needs.

In the articles listed above, we pointed out the signs announcing a marital crisis and methods of solving them. Of course, it’s impossible to avoid every crisis. However, by addressing the most common causes of marital crises, partners can still take preventive action. If the “self-help” strategies fail, they need a professional couple/marriage counsellor.

Marriage counselling at CHMC offers a safe setting. In the safety of a couple’s session, couples are empowered to communicate openly about their feelings and needs. Counselling helps bring unspoken issues to the forefront and facilitates addressing them. Past incidents/disappointment are processed, so this “extra baggage” can be put down and not continue to intrude on the present. It is through open communication that couples move forward in a positive way.

Our marriage counsellors take into consideration the socio-cultural context, the impact of childhood experiences, gender and individual differences, and the challenges of modern life.

During couple therapy, we help people gain understanding about themselves and their relationship. Our goal is to improve couples’ communication, solving misunderstandings and facilitating their happiness.

FAQs about Mariage Counselling

In the below Frequently Asked Questions we provide the answers to the most common question about marriage counselling in Dubai.

CHMC, is a German Clinic for Psychiatry and Psychology located in Dubai. We offer assessment and therapy for couples based on Gottman method.

What is marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling, is a psychotherapeutic approach aimed at assisting couples in resolving conflicts, enhancing communication, and fortifying their relationship.

When should we consider marriage counseling?

Couples may consider marriage counseling when they are experiencing communication problems, frequent arguments, trust issues, difficulties resolving conflicts, or when they feel disconnected from each other.

How does marriage counseling work?

Marriage counselling typically involves sessions with a trained therapist who helps couples explore their relationship dynamics, identify areas of concern, and learn new skills to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and rebuild intimacy.

How long does marriage counseling last?

The length of marriage counseling varies based on the couple’s needs and objectives. While some couples find value in short-term counseling, spanning only a few sessions, others may need longer-term therapy to address more profound issues within their relationship.

Is marriage counseling confidential?

Yes, marriage counseling sessions are confidential, and therapists are bound by strict ethical and legal guidelines to protect the privacy of their clients. However, there are exceptions to confidentiality, such as if there is a risk of harm to oneself or others.

Does marriage counseling work for everyone?

While marriage counseling can be beneficial for many couples, its effectiveness depends on various factors, including the willingness of both partners to participate actively in the process, the severity of relationship issues, and the quality of the therapeutic relationship with the counselor.

Can marriage counselling make things worse?

The effectiveness of marriage counseling often depends on factors such as the willingness of both partners to participate, the quality of the therapeutic relationship, and the skill of the therapist in guiding the process. If a couple is considering marriage counseling, it may be helpful to thoroughly research therapists, communicate openly about expectations and concerns, and approach therapy with a willingness to work together towards positive change.

Can marriage counselling save marriage?

Marriage counseling can be effective in saving marriages by providing couples with a safe and supportive environment to address conflicts, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen their relationship. With the guidance of a skilled therapist, couples can learn new skills, gain insight into their relationship dynamics, and work together to overcome challenges. However, the success of marriage counseling depends on various factors, including the willingness of both partners to actively participate in the process, the severity of relationship issues, and the quality of the therapeutic relationship with the counselor.

What is the difference between marriage counselling and couple therapy?

Briefly, marriage counseling and couple therapy are similar forms of therapy aimed at improving relationships, addressing conflicts, and enhancing communication between partners. Couples therapy typically focuses on couples who are married or engaged and may emphasize issues within the context of marriage, while couple therapy is a broader term that includes couples in various relationship stages, such as dating or cohabiting, and may be more inclusive of diverse relationship structures.

What can you expect from marriage counselling?

In marriage counselling, sessions typically last 55 minutes. During the initial session, which serves as an assessment, background information is gathered from both partners. Subsequent sessions, usually the 2nd and 3rd, involve meeting individually with each partner to explore their relationship histories. Starting from the 4th session, couples reconvene to examine their interaction patterns. At times, individual meetings may be requested again if issues arise that affect the sense of safety and vulnerability within the relationship.

Read More about Marriage Counselling

Sources

Gottman, John: Annu. Rev. Psychol. 1998, 49:169-97

Gottman, John (1994). “What makes marriage work?”. Psychology Today. 27 (2): 38–43.

Sternberg, J. “Satisfaction in close relationships”, Guilford Press, 1997, p. 344

Kaslow, Florence W.; Patterson, Terence (2004-01-30). Comprehensive Handbook of Psychotherapy, Cognitive-Behavioral Approaches. John Wiley & Sons. ISBN 9780471211006.

Chapman and Compton: (2003) From Traditional Behavioral Couple Therapy to Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy: New Research Directions The Behavior Analyst Today, 4 (1), 17 -25 BAO

Christensen A, Atkins DC, Yi J, Baucom DH, & George WH. (2006). The couple and individual adjustment for 2 years following a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional versus integrative behavioral couple therapy. J Consult Clin Psychol. 74(6):1180-91

Gottman, John M. (1993). “A theory of marital dissolution and stability”. Journal of Family Psychology. 7 (1): 57–75. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.7.1.57

Lauer, Robert H. (1994). Marriage and family: the quest for intimacy. Madison, Wis.Brown & Benchmark,

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